Men, Guys, Fellows, and Blokes.

I would love to meet a genuine, well rounded, cultured, and educated person. Austin has this to offer me:

from weheartit

Let's nip this in the bud now. Because that one guy can't even hold his beer up proper and he has shitty tattoos. I like tattoos, don't get me wrong. But I prefer large, thought out, well done tattoos. Not doodle pad-etch a sketch style, until that can be found at the Louvre......

But college educated, lame as it sounds it proves you got goalllllllssssssss (soccer commentator style)

and you can get them done.

You have a job, and it doesn't include "going back home for a week" to work for your dad cleaning the gutters and answering phones at his insurance company.

Speaking of which, you don't still live with mom and dad. I dont care if they just got a divorce, it doesn't mean you're dad is 'staying with you'. You are two single guys.....he is still your dad. You live together and you are almost thirty and he ain't old enough for a home. YOU LIVE WITH YOUR PARENT(S).

I love it when a guy tells me they read, thats fucking hot. Dawkin? If we were playing scrabble, that's a triple word score. When all you talk about is Dawkin, thats a convo with you and the wall directly behind my chair. Conversations include at least two people, inanimate objects do not count.

When you say you love Vonnegut and Bukowski, I am secretly judging you. You borrowed Slaughter House Five and left it on your night stand, maybe you even opened up the cover and read the sleeve. And you don't even know Bukowski, actually you overheard some hipster at a party name dropping so hard to impress the lady friends you were wading in the shit.

Have you ever been discussing food and have someone tell you that they open to trying new things.....like sushi and Vietnamese. Wow, congrats. You really went out of the way to hit up that local strip mall to enchant your tongue with some quality ethnic flavor. You really live life on the edge.

The thing is, I am half kidding and half feeling sorry for these poor chaps.