There was a time, about two years ago when I thought it couldn't get any worse. I was right.
Having a brother pass away is hard. Its hard for you, your mom, any other family members you may have. For us, it was truly hard. That's all we had, was us. Then Ben passed away. My mom's boyfriend of many years. He lived next door, came over in his bathrobe and would plop down on the sofa and chat away. It was almost like a tv neighbor. But he was amazing, the dad I never got to have. He was there taking pictures for prom, took me to the dealership when I bought my first car, he never over stepped his parenting. I knew my mom was in safe hands when I had to leave again after Andrew passed. But then Ben was gone. And I don't think my mom was ready for the hurt that it left me. She took it so well, but then again.....her stoic personality. I have just been breaking down left and right. Her, nothing. She doesn't let people see her upset, ever. But to me he was more than just her boyfriend. He taught me what a real man was made out of, the characteristics, pride, and abilities. I wanted that. I looked up to that. My father was none of those. He could barely pass the test. He was only philosophical in nature. No man was there, just a hollow shell of some washed up want to be.
Thank you Ben.
You will never know how much I appreciated you and always wished I could have called you dad.
Having a brother pass away is hard. Its hard for you, your mom, any other family members you may have. For us, it was truly hard. That's all we had, was us. Then Ben passed away. My mom's boyfriend of many years. He lived next door, came over in his bathrobe and would plop down on the sofa and chat away. It was almost like a tv neighbor. But he was amazing, the dad I never got to have. He was there taking pictures for prom, took me to the dealership when I bought my first car, he never over stepped his parenting. I knew my mom was in safe hands when I had to leave again after Andrew passed. But then Ben was gone. And I don't think my mom was ready for the hurt that it left me. She took it so well, but then again.....her stoic personality. I have just been breaking down left and right. Her, nothing. She doesn't let people see her upset, ever. But to me he was more than just her boyfriend. He taught me what a real man was made out of, the characteristics, pride, and abilities. I wanted that. I looked up to that. My father was none of those. He could barely pass the test. He was only philosophical in nature. No man was there, just a hollow shell of some washed up want to be.
Thank you Ben.
You will never know how much I appreciated you and always wished I could have called you dad.
