Now I am offcially 29, off the shelf, RTV'd, spinster, cat lady, one who looks longingly at babys/couples holding hands in public and whatever other endering term that can be used to describe me as "forever alone".
I signed back up for internet dating. Also because I am kinda poor right now and hungry. But before I start posting some of the really fantastic, well thought out, and grammar mistake free messages I have been getting lately....Let me tell you a little story.
It's my birthday and me and the ladies decide to go to happy hour to get some drinks, talk shit, and whine about being old. A couple days prior I started talking to a guy online. He seemed normal enough. So he facebook friended me. Which most of my stuff on there is public, so I don't know why he felt the need to do it. Anyhoo, he got wind of the birthday festivities and showed up with an entourage of dude friends. We ended up taking up about two tables on the patio, one of ladies and the other of dudes. He was sitting on the left side to me and started grabbing my arm and um, petting me. I am not a cute barn yard animal and we are not at a petting zoo. This is not okay. Plus he would start acting all coy and giggling. That was even creepier. I ignore him and about 10 minutes later I look back over at him. He was PASSED THE FUCK OUT. My friend Laura kept saying, maybe he is sleeping. No, not a virgins chance in hell is he sleeping. It was about 8 or 9 o'clock. But that dude was hammered.
But let's get on with it.
Am I doing this right?
.... :/ "
-nope
"Interesting. Very well written profile"
-you are obviously a high school english teacher.
"Hey who's your friend in your pic?"
-Again, really? I do have cute MARRIED friends. I did specify in the caption she is married.
Should I quit now?
"hey fierceness"
- Lets just stop there.....
"Wow is it hot outside. I was outside and I started to smell chinese food around me. I later realized it was me getting cooked by the sun!"
-Yay, awkward racial joke. How do I respond?
"you look like my ex. major party foul."
-Good, that makes it easier for both of us never to have to speak to eachother.
"Are you riding your harley DT this weekend? "
-That's the most random question ever.
"Wow, you're a little firecracker! I like that. I say we skip all the bull shit small talk and just get married."
-Whoa there turbo, I would say that is moving to fast. But I think everyone got that.
Username: 0_Expectations
" if ur friends the one in all the pictures her husbands a lucky guy. =) "
-thanks?
" Lol.
Am I doing this right?
.... :/ "
-nope
"Interesting. Very well written profile"
-you are obviously a high school english teacher.
"Hey who's your friend in your pic?"
Should I quit now?
